Victor
Schizoaffective Disorder
My name is Victor and I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder since 2012. Since the beginning of my illness I have had two major relapses and many minor relapses of bipolar and psychosis. Being a top student in high school and at university, I internalized many expectations set by society and family in Hong Kong culture and pushed myself often to the limits. I developed anxiety and depression first without realizing that they were preluding states of emotional illness and a more permanent mental condition. After my illness, I had to take long breaks from work, and even now I am engaged in flexible work options. And while my illness is a heavy burden on bad days, I learned many important lessons about life, mental health and I gained new values and perspectives about life. For example, I realized the importance between balancing the desires of my own heart, my obligations and accomplishments. Even though life may have a lot of responsibilities, survival need, and our culture and our own self may push us to the utmost to achieve as much as we can to prove our worth, yet we should not neglect the needs of our personality for rest, for interest and most essentially our health. I learned that health is not just the amount of stress I may allow to be placed on my physical body, but also how much stress I permit my mind and heart to experience.
One of the greatest gifts I received from my illness was finding my faith in God. Through God, I realized that my illness did not define who I was, and that I could thrive in spite of it, and sometimes even because of it. In spite of my illness, I still have many gifts and talents I can share with others. And because of my illness, I have developed greater empathy and compassion for those suffering in different conditions, especially those who are going through mental and emotional distress. Through God, I can also find strength beyond my own self to carry this burden, and have hope for my future.
One of the things that I realized was instrumental in my recovery which unfortunately was insufficient was support from family, friends and the community. In fast paced Hong Kong, it’s often hard to find others to talk to and connect with about my struggles, especially if they are busy with work or married with children (which is common for those my age). This is the reason when I found The New Normal, I immediately became a volunteer to support their work. For me, the main work of TNN which is to host peer support groups can be a great source of help for me and others. By having a group of empathetic and compassionate listeners and supporters, one can experience community and realize that one is not alone. Whether it is a mental health struggle or a struggle with breakup or grief, TNN is a safe space for those suffering to find relief and comfort.
While I have recovered to a great extent since my last relapse, I am delighted to be part of the TNN community and to contribute to its mission in Hong Kong, one group at a time. I hope you will also find the support you need, and the safety, space and warmth needed for your journey of recovery and wholeness.
