Understanding Stigmatised Grief
Stigmatised Grief refers to complex and often unrecognised grief that comes from losses deemed less socially acceptable or valid. This type of grief can be especially upsetting because it isn't fully acknowledged by society, leaving people to cope in silence.
Examples Include:
Losing a Loved One to Suicide: Those who are bereaved may face blame or judgment.
Miscarriage or Stillbirth: Often minimised by others who may not see it as a "real" loss.
Deaths Related to Addiction: This may attract stigma or judgements about the person who dies and their character.
LGBTQ+ Losses: Grief over a partner may not be recognised if the relationship wasn't public or accepted.
Pet Loss: Often trivialised as "just an animal."
Estranged Relationships: Grieving someone you were estranged from can be especially painful and confusing, as others may not understand why you're grieving.
Why It's Important:
Lack of social support can complicate the process of healing.
Individuals may feel isolated, misunderstood, or judged.
What our attendees said:
‘My mum didn’t talk about my sister’s death to suicide for years. It was like it never happened. All her things were taken away. My parents didn’t want to face the pain, and I felt so alone’
‘When I went to the hospital shortly before he died, I was questioned about how I could be next of kin when we are in a gay relationship. His family also shut me out of funeral plans despite us being together for more than twenty years.’
‘People pretended my partner’s addiction didn't exist. His family told everyone he had a liver problem when, in fact, it was alcohol. His friends wouldn't believe alcohol was capable of doing this to him when it was all so obvious and in plain sight. It was frustrating and heartbreaking, and it took me a long time to process the taboo of speaking about alcoholism in an Asian society.’
How to Support:
Listen Without Judgment: Let them share their feelings and memories without fear of judgment.
Acknowledge Their Loss: Don’t ignore their loss. Recognise the importance of it, no matter the circumstance.
Avoid Clichés: Phrases like "It was meant to be" or "They're in a better place" can feel dismissive.
Offer Practical Help: Simple gestures like meals, help with chores, or just being present without words can be very supportive.
Educate Yourself: Learn about different types of grief and the unique challenges they present.
Everyone's journey with grief is unique and valid.
Let's create a world where no one has to grieve alone.
